And this goes out to you, and to you, and ...

YOU DIDN'T MEAN JACK. GUESS WHAT HOE? FUCK YOU RIGHT BACK!

They can't call Tyrone any more

I think this'll change my life: I'm changing my number. And I'm going to think long and hard about who I'll give it to. I'm crossing many names off my list.

Worst. Birthday. Ever.

Happy 20th to me. My boyfriend and some of my friends are dicks. The end.

In a state of humdrum

I'm worried about my friend, Nessa. She's been in the hospital for something serious. I almost lost her. I'm going to go see her tomorrow. She's strong, so I know that eventually, she'll be fine or close to.

The jobs I really want either reject me or already hired someone else. I'm stuck in this dead end city, in this going nowhere fast job in this disasterous state.

I'm becoming disillusioned. I'm thinking of taking easy jobs with fast pay and low morale. Not just for money, but because I'm bored. I'm painfully bored.

I've been thinking more and more about leaving my boyfriend. I'm bored with him, too.

Feel like pushing the close people away

My eyes ache, my head pounds and my temples throb constantly. I've really been stressed out, very much. It's been making me so sick that I barely make it out of bed in the morning.

I am sort of angry at myself, half angry at my parents. Mom threw away most of my newspaper clips. So now I have no proof of anything I've done. I feel like I'm back at zero. I should've gotten them sooner, but oh well, whatever. I'm SOL now buddy.

My boyfriend has been out of work for almost a month now. Maybe it's good I didn't keep the baby. I don't know what to do with him.

Plus Y is trippin'. She doesn't realized we were raised WAY differently. I know I may seem insensitive to her, but in Detroit, you're not raised up to be sensitive; my parents were rough, and the people I grew up around were rough. I should be more open-minded to her feelings though. She's a good friend; I just don't know how to deal with her when she gets mad at me. I think I'm just gonna step back until things work themselves out. Silence definitely can be golden.

I'm really ready to move away now. Moving to Florida with my boyfriend doesn't even seem doable anymore. I think I'm just gonna get a job and move, if I can ... my mother threw away my work. Oh, I hate this!

Please, just stop calling

Two things I hate about talking on the phone:

1) At my job, dumbasses always call me with NONBUSINESS-RELATED matters, then expect me to help them. What? It's not in my job descript; get it right!
It wouldn't be so bad if they would just listen. I still try to help people even though they screwed up and dialed the wrong number. But when they catch an attitude as if it's my DUTY to assist them, that's when I wanna jump through the phone and catch a case.

2) I hate it when guys somehow get my number, or I give it to them because I believe they could be helpful in someway (i.e., coworkers, maintenance folks, etc.), and they call me all the time like a creep! Ugh! Guys that are just plain undesireable. I mean, I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world, but I am quite attractive and have a lot going for myself. What makes them think they have a snowball's chance in hell of me replacing my boyfriend with them? Why don't these guys just get it? I swear, I don't lead them on in any way. I wanna change my number and then blow up my phone!

Oh yeah! Other things I can't stand about my job:
1) It's too cold. My bones hurt and my fingernails turn blue. "Some women are going through menopause." Well some women like me are sitting up in here waiting on their medical and vacation time to kick in and are freezing!
2) Underpaid, underappreciated, yadda, yadda, ya. Pretty much everyone feels this way, though, but I had to say it.

Lusting for a life in the fast lane

I rode on the back of a motorcycle for the first time a few days ago. It was fast. It was exhilarating. I WANT TO RIDE NOW!

I'm thinking of paying $125 for lessons and a license. Now, I just gotta work on getting a bike. I'm not going to tell too many folks; they wouldn't approve.

I've been depressed. Besides the abortion, I just feel like my life isn't going too much of anywhere. I'm tired of the whole "you've accomplished so much for your age." I want to travel the world, live more places and make more friends. I want to be ... something I'm not right now. I want to have fun and live life, yet accomplish my dream of becoming an editor or something notable. This life is so dead end.

I'm thinking of a tattoo. Not sure of what yet and where. I do like the above image for a tat, though: the Firebird. It means a lot to me. The Firebird represents freedom, power and just immersing yourself in the fun side of life without letting negativity hold you back. I also love my boyfriend's cars, his Firebirds, lol.